Wednesday, November 21

Peter

I apologize in advance if this is hard for anyone, particularly my family, to read. It's written more for my sake than anyone else.

27 years ago today this boy was born, and the world became a better place.A year and a half later I joined the family and could not have asked for a better big brother. I was the epitome of the annoying tag along younger sister, but Peter was not a typical older sibling. He always let me come along, even if I got in the way, and he never made me feel like he wished I wasn't there. And I believe that is quite possibly because he rarely did wish that. And as we got older he even invited me to tag along. He loved and respected my parents and taught the rest of us to do the same. He is part of a family that loves each other and respects one another, and I believe he was the example for the three of us that followed him.

I wish I had been wiser when I was younger because then I wouldn't have complained so much. I wouldn't have complained when he turned his classical music up sooooo loud in the car, I wouldn't have complained when he practiced the piano while I was watching TV, I wouldn't have complained that I had to sleep on the couch when he came home from college so he could have his own room.

But there are so many more memories that I hold dear to my heart. I remember keeping the doors to our rooms open when we went to bed so we could talk down the hall to one another. I remember seeing my big senior brother in school while I was just a little freshman, and him always saying hi and sitting by me at lunch. I remember feeling so sad for him when he ran for class office and he didn't win. I think I was more sad for him than he actually was. I remember attending the symphony with him, and how he taught me the appropriate times to applaud. I remember taking him to BYU and returning home, knowing that it wouldn't be the same there without him. I remember missing him so much while he was on his mission, but so grateful that his goodness finally got to spread further and help more people. I remember visiting him at his apartment after his mission, seeing him on campus, and having a class with him. And I remember him being kind to every person he met. Every person. In a class I had at BYU with both of my brothers I remember our teacher coming in and asking how our weekend was. Some replied while others didn't say anything. Then Peter said, "and how was your weekend?" It struck me then that he considered people as people and nothing else. He respected her as a teacher, but he treated her as a friend, like he did everyone else. Because of him I try to remind myself everyday to be more kind and less judgemental of the people I encounter. I'm afraid I fall short all too often, but I continue to try and follow his example.
I am indebted to my Heavenly Father for many things, but on that list is his allowing me to be in the same family and so near one of the best people ever to live for as many years as I was allowed. And I'm grateful that I have the rest of my life to remember Peter and try to deserve the love and pride he always showed me.

7 comments:

The Shill Spill said...

Wow Lis! I wish I had known your brother. That was touching.

mamahegji said...

Thanks sweetheart!

Anonymous said...

I remember playing no-rules water basketball and he always let me get close to winning even though he was bigger and stronger. I remember how effortlessly he and i could team up to scare lisa...and how easy it was/is. I remember the numerous times he defended me from bullies i was too proud to run from. and i remember him telling me that his friends went to IHOP to see who could eat the most pancakes. It was a last minute dare and he had just eaten dinner. Regardless, he still ate 19 pancakes and smoked everybody.

Rachel said...

Thanks Lisa, I really enjoyed it. He was a pretty amazing person. We were so lucky to have him as a brother. One of the things I really like still though is that each of us still here has traits of Peter so we can always be reminded of him, Who he was, and how good he was.

Lisa's DaD said...

I think most parents who were blessed with a kid as wonderful as Peter would be happy with that...as we are! However, now that he is gone, we find that each of the people he knew and loved (and there were so many!) are especially precious to us because they are the echoes of Peter that remain in this world.

Thank you Lisa for sharing your heartfelt and candid feelings about Pete...it's a rare gift you've given your parents...the knowledge that you loved your brother.

Love...DaD

Jeff Ashlee and Ben said...

Lisa,
I got your blog from your dad so I hope that you don't mind me reading it. It was wonderful to read your thoughts-you couldn't have said it any better. He was wonderful. Thanks for sharing.

*Ashlee

Lisa said...

Ashlee,
Of course not, read away. It's good to hear from you, I hope you and your family are doing alright.
Lisa