raise 'em up

Raise your hand if you're tired of seeing the backsides of girls whose pants are too low, their shirts are too short and their midsections are too large.

(I'm not complaining about midsections, I've got no room to talk, I'm complaining about visible midsections.)


Now raise your hand if you think this same low pants/short shirt/large midsection combination is adorable on babies.


Raise your hand if you think I need to clean my refrigerator.

And raise your hand if you want to be the one to clean it for me. First one with their hand up, wins.


Raise your hand if you think it's gross that I have a container of worms in my refrigerator.

I do, that's for sure. But Jeremy insists they stay. Compromise--that's marriage, folks.

I wish I could see when you're raising your hand.


Raise your hand if you think it's funny when your baby gets trapped between the legs of a chair, and then stays there for 15 minutes, perfectly happy.

I'm teaching him that there are consequences to his actions. Also, it was the only time in the last 2 months that he's stayed in the same spot for longer than 30 seconds (when he's awake, that is).

On a related note, I'm not typically able to change a diaper (especially not a poopy one) in faster than 30 seconds. Which explains the scene upstairs 2 minutes ago where Ryan was naked from the waist down, mid-crawl and reaching for something, while I was holding him back by one of his legs with one hand and simultaneously trying to grab a diaper out of his drawer with my other.

I don't even have to tell you to raise your hands if you've ever done that, I know you already are.


Raise your hand if you think it's funny that when the baby is under the chair, his toy falls just out of his reach and he cannot figure out a way to get to it.

Raise your hand if you think this blog post is going nowhere.


Raise your hand if you wish I would learn how to use my camera so that instead of a blurry picture, I could produce a picture that actually shows Ryan's new tooth.


Raise your hand if you are tired of snotty noses and gunky eyes, and are just ready for spring to show up.

I'm going to assume you are all in agreement with me on all of these things. Especially the last one.

Raise your hand if you never want to hear the phrase "raise your hand" again.

Lucky for you then, that Ryan is crying and in desperate need of his mama.