2 points

I will warn you now, this blog post will have no structure or flow. To which you reply, "Do they ever?" But I'm in a bit of a cheeky (I've learned British!) mood and don't want to go to bed yet. I just watched a Hugh Grant movie with my sister so we'll blame the use of the word "cheeky" on that.

Do you ever wish that some mythical creatures were real? Like Santa Clause, leprechauns, or unicorns (and some of you might add Edward Cullen to that list)? There is one that I wish were real. I've never heard any stories about her but I'm certain every woman has at one time or another created their own version of her in their head. She is the Clean House Fairy. Basically, when you leave your house a mess and you've had a long day and know that you also have a long night ahead of you, the Clean House Fairy comes in while you are gone and...cleans your house! But she's not for everyday lazy folk who simply don't want to clean, it's for the people who truly deserve it. And I'm saying that this week I deserved it, which is not the case most weeks.

While there is no Clean House Fairy I've got something almost as good but nowhere near as effective. And that is the blessing of a forgetful brain (AKA pregnancy brain), so that when I leave the house I forget all about the mess that is left behind. That way I can enjoy my outing, whatever it may be, and make all sorts of plans for when I return home. However, and this is the part where it proves to be less effective, as soon as I get home the mess is still there! So while I did have a few hours of bliss, nothing is actually clean. I guess it'll have to do until the Clean House Fairy shows up--I will hold out hope!

Also, I could really go for a Cherry Limeade right now. Or a Cherry Fresh Lime, whatever you prefer to call it.

For the past few nights after the kids have gone to bed and Jeremy is preoccupied with his new gadget I turn on the TV to watch the Olympics. I've come to discover that I haven't the heart to watch the Olympics this year. I suspect it's the crazy hormones circulating throughout my body at this particular time, because I don't recall having this reaction before. But every time someone falls down I gasp "OH NO!" Every. time. Even if they are the crappy competitors who are lucky they even made it to the Olympics. The problem is that I start to imagine what they must be feeling and thinking. The bitter disappointment. The gut sinking feeling. The "Oh crap I've worked my whole life for these three minutes of glory and I just screwed it up" thoughts that must be going through their mind!

And I get so mad at the judges for giving them ridiculously low scores! Can't they just throw them a few pity points??

There there are the winners, standing up there on the stand listening to their National Anthem, waving their medals, looking so proud and happy. For every one person in that position there's got to be a handful more in their hotel rooms crying. Why can't they give everyone a medal?? Really, it's too heart wrenching for me to watch.

And the speed at which they are all moving makes me incredibly nervous!

Speaking of speed, here's a picture of Alexis and Tyler having a three legged race. They have an elastic headband around their legs. One minute after taking this picture it snapped in half. It was the elastic headband I use every night when I wash my face. I did not get mad! A minor triumph, really, but I have to take all I can get.


Lastly, let me tell you about the nice charts Alexis made, of her own initiation. Or rather, the "nis chaerte" as she spelled it. She and Tyler each have their own, but Jeremy and I have to share one. Alexis' chart has 42 squares, Tyler's has 20, and ours doesn't matter since we aren't earning any "points" anyway. The premise is simple--to earn points you have to be nice. Or do whatever Alexis says, since she is the chart creator. Coincidentally Alexis earns points at twice the rate of Tyler, so their charts should be filled up around the same time. When they are filled up, I've been instructed to take them to the Dollar Store and let them pick a prize. Except Alexis gets to go to Target and get a Barbie bathtub she has her eye on--it costs ten dollars. I'm hesitant to tell her that I'm not buying her the bathtub for fear that she'll cross out some of our points--and we only have two anyway. Jeremy really, really has his heart set on a Dollar Store prize, I'd hate to be the reason he doesn't get it.

It's actually been kind of funny to watch them with these charts because they are doing nice things for each other and constantly showing me how many points they have. But this morning I think Tyler caught on that things were going a little unfairly--and not in his favor--because I caught him at his chart trying to fill in some of his squares while Alexis was preoccupied. It was one of those moments as a parent that I wasn't quite sure what to do. Should I applaud him for asserting himself or should I scold him for deliberately trying to make his sister mad? I think I decided to look the other way, but took his pen away just the same.

Maybe I should ask Alexis what she would have done. In fact, maybe I should turn the parenting reins over to her. I have to admit, she's way more consistent with these charts than I have ever been. But does she know how to get to the Dollar Store??

And with that, I'll go to bed.