Friday, October 9
3 year olds are still babies, right?
In just a few short days, this little man pictured above will turn 3. Being the sentimental mother that I am, and given that he is my youngest, it's got me to thinking--mostly about where the time went and how three years seem to just sneak up on me, but also about how motherhood is a funny, funny thing.
Before having kids, I had a plan for my family. I wanted four kids, all spaced two years apart. That is extremely similar to how the family I was raised in is, except most of us are even closer in age than two years. However, in making this plan I guess I underestimated the job of a mother. Kids two years apart (or less) is not as easy as it may seem, and I can only imagine what having four (or more) kids is like.
My plan began according to schedule (Tyler and Alexis are only 2 years and 2 months apart) but was quickly halted after Tyler was born. I love their age difference now, but when Tyler was a baby I wasn't quite sure we'd all survive. I've tried to decide if it's because I don't have easy babies, or if it's that I'm not a baby person, but either way, life was not pleasant back then. Thank goodness things change.
There's many factors that go into planning a family, but in my case personality has been the deciding factor. Some mothers worry less, some are more organized, some don't mind noise and chaos, some are more patient, and some can just roll with the punches better. And while I think I'm a fine mother, I know now I couldn't handle 4 kids within 6 years. It's just not my personality. I still hope to get to 4 someday, but it might take awhile. However, I can feel myself growing as a mother, becoming more patient and more immune to chaos. I suppose every one's growth rate is different and mine is just a little slower than I imagined.
Some days I lament that I'm not different, that I can't handle the same things other people can, and that I don't have 3 kids with another one on the way right now (as according to plan), but then I remind myself that if that were the case I very well could be in jail. 'Cause motherhood is a funny, funny thing. It can bring you immense joy, but it can also drive you a bit crazy and make you want to do things a sane person would never dream of.
So here's to celebrating the end of the 3rd year of my son's life from the freedom of my own home, rather than a cell!
p.s. He's still my baby, don't expect me to call him otherwise.