joy

It seems that all too often I spend my days trying to fill my time with the unimportant, or with things that I think a good mom/wife/person is supposed to do. I cook, I clean, I worry about silly things, I take the kids places to entertain them, I stress over making sure I have "me" time, and as a result I completely ignore the things that are the most important.

Today, because of the snow, I had trouble finding a desire to even get dressed. I wanted to lay around all day in my pajamas. I finally did put on a pair of jeans (my rattiest pair), and a little bit of make-up, but first I joined my children on the couch. I let them climb all over me; I let them tickle me (which is more like a punch in the throat); I hugged and kissed them; I told them I loved them; I let them tell me they love me. I stopped my constant race to nothingness, to smell the roses (figuratively speaking because the kids haven't had baths in several days and smell nothing like roses). Which got me to thinking about all the things that made me smile today.


-Eating breakfast with Jeremy before he went to work
-Playing steamroller until I was too dizzy to move
-Jumping out at Tyler as he came around the corner, which scared him, and is so fun to do
-Letting Alexis run around in her Dora underwear all morning
-Being tackled time and again by Tyler
-Listening to Alexis yell to Tyler "O-G, Go!"
-The proud beam on Alexis' face after she came downstairs, hair fixed and clothes on (complete with pants tucked into socks)
-Kissing little cheeks
-Reading books together, about trains and scooby doo


I did other things today too: read blogs, washed laundry, emptied the dishwasher, lifted weights, thought about cookies, cakes and pies that I want to eat. But none of these things brought me as much joy as I felt while interacting with my family.

It's no coincidence that our greatest joy comes, not from things, but from relationships. We have a loving Father in Heaven and Savior who have made it possible for these relationships to be eternal, and for these relationships to bring eternal joy.

I cannot express how grateful I am for the principal of eternal progression. I'm not perfect, not today anyway. But I can keep trying. Someday I hope to always feel this way about my children. Someday I hope to eliminate the days where they drive me crazy, or the days where I don't find their voices and mannerisms to be the cutest things ever. Someday I hope to always remember that the other things, while they may be necessary in this life, are not the most important. With that, I need to make sure that right now I'm valuing the things I can take with me.

"...What is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, 'They do not love that do not show their love.' We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.
Despite the changes that come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days--as much as we can--with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed."
-President Thomas S. Monson, "Finding Joy in the Journey" Ensign November 2008

I feel greatly blessed, not only for those I love, but for these moments of enlightenment that come to me, and remind me to pause and reevaluate life. And I write them down so that I can be reminded whenever I read it.

I hope you can ponder on the relationships in your life that shape you and make you (be it children, spouses, siblings, parents or friends), and let them know you love them. Even if you can't verbally say it.