Thursday, July 24

cleaning out the cobwebs of my mind,with color!

Again, it's about 2 AM and I'm awake posting on my blog. I really am kind of lame that way. But child #1 woke up to tell me about some bees that were flying around her head tonight. And then child #2 woke up cold, and when I tried to go back to sleep I couldn't. Want to know why? Because my arms and fingers feel like they've been replaced with seaweed and pencils respectively, which makes typing this a little bit hard. My visiting teaching companion and I went rock climbing with two of the girls we visit teach tonight, and I haven't been in so long that it was extra, extra hard. And it sucked all the muscles and bones out of my arms and made my fingers stiff.

Plus, my stomach has been hurting for about 2 weeks. Now, I know that because I'm a certain age in a certain time period of my life and my youngest is almost 2, you all are about to jump on the "Lisa must be pregnant" bandwagon when you hear this. Well, jump right off. I've been feeling pretty nauseous fairly consistently throughout the day (and night) lately except when I do certain activities. For example, I went to the pool for three hours with my kids this morning and didn't have a single bother from my stomach. But when I walked in the house and was immediately faced with the tasks of getting the kids into regular clothes, making them lunch, and doing the laundry, all of a sudden my stomach hurt. Then I went rock climbing tonight and the whole time I wouldn't have even noticed that I had a stomach, but when I got home and saw my dirty kitchen, BAM, pain in the stomach. So here's what I've concluded: work makes me sick and I shouldn't have to do any. Those of you reading this, feel free to come on over anytime and take over for me. Don't worry about me, I'll stay out of your way; I've already got a stack of books that should get me through the first week or two. I'll work on getting more, though, because who knows how long this condition will last, it could be permanent.

So anyway, while laying in bed suffering all my many sufferings, I thought of something brilliant! Word processors and other computerized typing places need to have a "sarcasm" format. You know how they have italics for emphasis, and CAPS when you want to YELL ABOUT SOMETHING, and bold for...whatever bold is used for, well they need a little "sarcasm" format so when I want to say something sarcastic (which is often), but my writing is not strong enough to convey it (which is also often), I have the option of formatting it. For example, if I were writing some story about the grocery store and I wanted to say sarcastically, "I love those shopping carts with the kid car attached to the front that require a class A license to steer" some people might catch the sarcasm, but some poor soul out there might say, "Oh, me too, those are my favorite, how do I get that license?". However, if there were a universal format for sarcasm than we'd all be on the same page about the dumb shopping carts. Maybe it could be a combination of a color and italics. That part is still in the brainstorming phase, but frankly I think this is a genius idea and I don't know why something hasn't been done about it already.

Well, I suppose that now that I've got this heavy topic off my mind I can get to sleep, as long as my arms and my stomach cooperate. And of course all my legions of fans that have been waiting days for a new post can relax too.


The Shill Spill said...

Thank you for easing my mind and helping me to relax with a new post. :) I think you have now set the rules on the 'sarcastic font'. I'll be looking for it whenever there is need for it in your entries. :)
Can I get one of those licenses? Because, I too hate them, but maybe if I could learn how to drive them I might have a better experience. There MUST be something to it, seeing as how I run into everything and everyone when I do happen to snatch one. Right?

shellybellybee said...

I know you're being sarcastic about you sarcastic font (due to the explanation of your sarcastic font) but I really do think it is a genius idea. Possibly because I am usually the poor soul who doesn't know when she's reading something sarcastic. Anyways, I love it, and I'm sorry about your stomach! Drink Dr. Pepper. That cures everything.

ReynoldsFam said...


Thank you! Thank you for making me laugh whenever I need it. You are great! I'm still laughing...

he he hee