Kids can do funny things to your heart. They can make it swell 1000 times its normal size, they can melt it into a huge old puddle on the floor, and they can break it in a million pieces. Alexis did the latter today. I thought they weren't supposed to say stuff like this until they were teenagers!
Alexis: Mom, why does Tarzan have a monkey mother?
Me: Because his mom and dad died and the monkey found him so she became his new mother.
(Long pause while she contemplates all the ways she can hurt me)
A: Oh, I want to get a new mom too, cause you're going to died later so I'll have a new mommy and it won't be you.
I hope her new mother has a heart of steel.