Tuesday, February 24

Miss Independent

One of the realizations I've come to as a mother is that some things are not worth fighting over. It's good that I've figured this out because Alexis is fiercely independent. I'm sure some of it is the age, but a lot of it is her personality. She wants to do everything by herself--she wants to make her own breakfast in the morning, pick out her clothes daily, put movies in the DVD player by herself, brush her own hair and teeth, wash herself, even hang up her own clean laundry. Lately she's even been fixing her hair by herself, and this is probably the hardest one for me to accept. Because her hair looks like this:
Which I guess is an improvement to the unbrushed/unfixed mess that I usually leave it in. However she is always very proud of herself after she's fixed her hair, so if you see her in a 'do that looks a little crazy (like at church last Sunday), compliment her on how nice her hair looks!

I haven't picked out an outfit for Alexis in months. I will usually give her guidelines that she'll begrudgingly follow, like pants and a long sleeve shirt, but she picks out the specifics. Sometimes when she comes down in an outfit ready to leave the house, it takes all I have to hold my tongue and not make her go upstairs and change. One time she came to me with a blanket on her head and a headband wrapped around it, like this:
And in all seriousness that was what she wanted to wear to the library. I couldn't keep it in and proceeded to laugh for about 5 minutes, at which point she changed her mind.

The fact that I let her pick out her own clothes and fix her own hair seem to really help in other areas. There are simply some things she cannot do, and because I let her do the other little things, she's more willing to accept this fact. Also, it's an outlet for her creativity, and it's helping her develop her own style and take pride in being herself. While there are some days that I wish she would just let me pick out an outfit for her, I love that she wants to be original and I hope it sticks around.

Here's a sampling of one of her outfits, click the picture to make it bigger.

11 comments:

Jessica Munk said...

You're a great mom! I can learn a lot from you!! Zac is going in this direction...very independant...but doesn't know how or can't figure out how to do things...but still has to do them himself...with lots of tantrums inbetween...most of the time I am just at a loss of what to do.

Mary said...

You are a much nicer mom than I am! My son has two or three shirts that he would wear Every Single Day if I let him, and of course they happen to be the rattiest shirts he owns which are getting too small for him (plus he would never comb his hair either if he had the say). I just can't bring myself to let him go to kindergarten that way so I only let him wear them on days when we are not going anywhere! Half of the time he ends up changing into them after school as well. One of these days I might have to conveniently lose them :)

Reynolds Family said...

I love the labeled picture, especially the fashion pose that Alexis is pulling off! She is SUCH a fun, creative person! I love the hair-do's and the stylin' outfits. I could probably learn some lessons from her!

KinsRae said...

Sounds like my house.

Ashlee said...

She has got style!I am impressed that she even wants to comb her hair! I think that it is great that you are letting her be independent! Good work

Scooby and Jon said...

I think she looks fabulous in her own style...and I love that you allow her independence in dressing herself.

shellybellybee said...

She is awesome, and so is her style! I'm very impressed that she will do so many things by herself. It sounds like a big improvement from my oldest child who is refusing to grow up. He has regressed to the point where he can't put on his shoes, socks, or any of his clothes, or go potty by himself. He wants his mommy to do it just because he knows I want him to do it. In my world I'm praying for a little more in Independence.

Ashley said...

sounds to me a lot like love and logic. it's actually one of my favorite behavior management techniques if you'd call it that. where you let her make little decisions and then sometimes it's your turn to make the decision but she understands because she's been making a lot of decisions herself. it's good stuff!

Krissy said...

I'm very proud of you... and I suppose I should start working myself up for that, because I'm not so sure I will be able to follow in your footsteps- she does still look darling on Sunday with her cute dress and crazy hair :)

The Shill Spill said...

It's better than your child saying..."Mom, what do you think I should do?" Me: "I don't know Jake, why don't you go play with your dinosaurs?" Jake: "No, What else do you think I should do?"
Soooooooooo indecisive! Just like his mom!
I LOVE the picture! :)

The Shill Spill said...

Also, I wish you would have gotten a picture of her in her head gear. :) (Before the Library!) I would have loved to have seen that! :)