Wednesday, November 7

gross freaky fast freak bug

There is a bug on my computer monitor...right now. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to flick it because sometimes when you flick bugs they don't move because they are either freakishly strong or extra sticky; and both options disturb me. And I don't want to get toilet paper and squish him because then I'll have to clean the monitor. Fortunately he's sitting on the right side of my wide-screen monitor, so he's not in the way of much. I don't know what kind of bug it is but I'm pretty sure he was sitting on my wall yesterday. Well, I usually only do something about the creepy crawlies that move, like spiders, so there's a good chance that this guy will just sit here until Jeremy comes home and is bugged (pun intended) enough to do something about it.

Oh my gosh, I think he can read! Just as I typed that he flew towards me, I had a minor freak-out, and then he flew away. It's good to know that bugs feel threatened at the mere mention of Jeremy's name.

So this has reminded me of something I hoped to never be reminded of. Except that I took a picture of this thing once so obviously I will be reminded. Here is the thing.
I looked it up once years ago and I think it's called a House Centipede. I prefer to call it the "gross freaky fast freak bug". Say that 5 times fast. Just looking at this picture is making my stomach knot up and I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw up. Then I'll have to take a shower just to make sure there aren't any crawling on me.

Fortunately the only place I have ever encountered the "gross freaky fast freak bug" was in our basement apartment in Provo. And not the weird apartment like you might think, it was the normal one. We lived under a chiropractors office and the apartment was actually very nice, but one day I saw one of these things in the bathroom. Be sure that I screamed and panicked and possibly even cried. Then I killed it, but not without a chase first. They are incredibly fast (who wouldn't be with that many legs?), plus I had to keep a reasonable distance because I was worried that it was going to grow wings or super jumping legs and come at my face. After that I started noticing them all the time. They seemed to like door frames, probably so they could try and drop onto my head when I wasn't looking. Of course this was all at the time that Alexis was a little baby and would wake up at night, which required me to walk into her room IN THE DARK. I kept my slippers right by my bed, turned upside down like I was camping, to make sure that the bug would not crawl inside, and I'd put them on in case I accidentally stepped on one. And here's another crazy thing about them, their blood was blue...but maybe that's not so crazy for a bug, what do I know?

Well, since the bug is gone I guess I can quit thinking about this horrible stuff and move on with my life. I hope none of you out there have to deal with "gross freaky fast freak bugs", or anything else equally horrible.

8 comments:

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Lisa said...

again??

The Shill Spill said...

?Que? Who in the world left you that message? LOL! :)
Wow! I must say....what an entry! I am sorry to see that bugs cause you such distress. Although, looking at that bug....It would probably cause me to freak out too. (I don't have much problem with killing smaller, fast crawlin/jumping, bugs.) In fact, if I don't do it myself, Aaron just laughs at me and tells me to let it go outside. Yah, right! Like I want it coming back in my house EVER again!!! (I am sure you feel the same way!) :) Good luck squashing the little buggers!

shellybellybee said...

You are so funny. I'm glad this bug didn't jump on your face or anything. I hate it when they jump. That's the worst. They deserve to die just for jumping and scaring you. Anyways, at least it's not a spider. They gross me out more than anything. Good luck, I hope it dies soon.

shellybellybee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shellybellybee said...

Uhh, I accidentally posted my coment twice, and then I deleted it. Just wanted to let you know. Hey, do you speak spanish?

Anonymous said...

Lisa, you are hilarious! That was a scary looking bug, though. I was just reading some of your Halloween stories, and that is great that Jeremy was Barney. That would probably scare my kids too! You didn't even dress up!? Some day you will grow to love Halloween. Anyway, have a good day! -Danelle

Anonymous said...

the first time i saw that kind of bug i was scared, but now it is not that scary for me. but i don`t know about you
trent (don`t forget to check the comments on the other blog about barney i posted on there today.) (tell alexis that i said hi) (and tyler.) i am done.
trent