a lot of firsts...

Ryan's 1st Rhino adventure

The 1st time I've ever shared a mostly naked picture of Ryan to show you how cute and chubby he is. What? That's not the first time I've done that?? Oh well, enjoy another picture of fat and naked Ryan.

The 1st time I've had a 7 year old

Her 1st pair of Twinkle toes. And hopefully the last.

Her 1st day of second grade

Ryan's 1st time eating corn on the cob

Tyler's 1st soccer game--check out the aggression on his face.
Perhaps we should work on that...

On his way to his 1st goal
(and definitely not his last, that kid is on the ball at all times)

The 1st 22 foot tall lighthouse Jeremy has ever built
(it was a team effort)
(and it probably won't be the only one, he builds a lot of random stuff)

Jeremy's (and teams) 1st time figuring out how to assemble
and erect a 22 foot lighthouse that was built in pieces.

A few other firsts that are unaccompanied by pictures:
-This last week is the 1st time I've had so many behavioral issues with Tyler that I'm ready to give him away. He has not been his sweet, normal self--I think he's mad that he doesn't get to go to school yet. Is it too early to start telling him Santa won't come if he doesn't shape up?
-Another 1st: Last week my kitchen flooded due to a busted washing machine hose. Thankfully it burst sometime in the early morning so we caught it before the water got too very deep and spread too very far.
-That same day was the 1st time I was glad that Jeremy has a lot of stuff in our garage--like a shop vac. The 1st time I've been grateful for a shop vac (probably not the last).

And finally, unfortunately, not a 1st:
This is the third time Alexis has had a beginning of the year school assignment to decorate a paper doll to look like herself. Alexis loves this assignment and refuses all help, ideas or suggestions. Alexis' mother hates this assignment. What message would it send to her if I hang onto this doll so that she can turn it in next year, at the beginning of third grade, when I'm sure she will get the exact same assignment?

Navajo Lake

A few weeks ago we took our kids camping with my family down in Cedar City, by Navajo Lake. I have too many pictures from it that I couldn't not share.
My mom found this little motorized car somewhere and fixed it up for the kids. Alexis and Tyler loved it, but it was really the perfect size for Ryan. He loved pushing the button to make it go.
But of course he doesn't understand the concept of steering, so he would go in circles or end up in the grass.
There was fishing. Boring, boring fishing.
Ryan fell down or tripped once every minute and got pretty dirty, but was a good sport about it. He was teething and had a serious diaper rash on his bum, that combined with the cold at night meant he really didn't sleep well in his bed. But once we put him in our sleeping bags he slept fine, which means Jeremy and I didn't. Oh well, you get used to being tired and carry on. (That sounds like a perfect description of parenthood.)
We went on a pretty, kid friendly, short hike. You could see for eternity from this viewpoint.
Tyler got dirty. That's his main objective when he's outside.
Alexis loves to camp. Both kids think sleeping in their sleeping bags is the biggest treat in the world. On this trip my mom printed up songbooks with some fun songs in it and Alexis loved to sit and sing them all.My cute niece, Celeste. She lives in Las Vegas so we don't see her much, but we LOVE her.
My brother brought his dog, Brutus. I can't even explain how happy Ryan was whenever Brutus was around. He was even happier that Brutus was always tied up so he couldn't run away from him. He's a very patient dog, fortunately.

Thanks to my family for the fun trip! Maybe next I'll get around to posting pictures from Jeremy's family reunion that was a whole month before this trip.

this was bound to happen at some point

The other night Alexis put her shirt on Ryan. It's a form fitting shirt, so it curved his belly nicely, cut off his arms in a girly place, and hit around his knees, just like a cute little black dress.

Then she put her headband on him to make the outfit complete. And he looked like a cute, chunky, little girl.

It could have been a lot worse, like poor old Tyler got it when he was around this same age.

But Alexis now wants to try all her clothes on him, so I'm sure it will get worse. I'll keep you updated.

my kids, lately

Summer is half over and we are still keeping busy. Here are a few pictures and stories of some of what we've been up to lately.

We went up Provo Canyon one evening with my parents, sister and brother-in-law, to have a picnic and take a short hike to some beaver dams. When we got to one Jeremy just kept on walking, straight into the water in his tennis shoes. So then I sent the kids in too, but as you can tell from the picture, the water was freezing! I love that Tyler has his tongue out in this picture.

Ryan dipped his feet in later. So far he's shown no fear of water, which is good but also a little worrisome. Jeremy's mom took all of her grandkids to an aquatic center last week and Ryan went under the water at least 7 or 8 times, and that was with me watching him like a hawk. Each time I'd pull him out of the water, he'd blink and spit and then keep on playing like nothing ever happened.

Speaking of Ryan, he's a little crazy. He wears me out with his constant movement, but is still the cutest thing ever. Judge me if you want, but I've discovered that sugar in some form makes him sit still and quiet for at least 3 minutes. This time it was a chocolate covered pretzel.

Do you like see-food??

Back at the end of April, Tyler and I planted some flower bulbs in our planter box. We planted them at the very end of the season, so we've had to wait until now for them to blossom. It's been fun for Tyler to water them, watch them, and wait for the flowers to show up. I haven't ever really grown anything before, so it's been fun for me too.

And apparently growing flowers is enough work for me, because the lawn has suffered. I apologize to my neighbors who overlook our tiny, pathetic backyard. We obviously need a sprinkler system badly because we suck at hand watering.

Any mom knows that kids are good for keeping you humble and letting you know what you're good for. Tyler did this last week when he--very seriously--asked if I was ever going to die. I told him that yes, someday I would. He thought for a minute and then with a concerned look on his face said, "Well, if you die who will make me breakfast?". Now I'm afraid to teach him how to pour his own cereal and milk for fear of becoming obsolete.

Lastly, today at the grocery store the cashier gave Alexis a bunch of stickers. This store never has kid stickers, they only have ones they put on food or bags, but they always give some to the kids. Today the stickers said "All Natural" in big bold letters. So Alexis put one on her chest on the right, gave one to Ryan, two to Tyler and then put the last one on her chest also, but this time on the left. I took one look at her two strategically placed "All Natural" stickers and had to keep the laughter in. I love the innocence of children!

June in a nutshell, kind of

I never used to understand why people would let a whole month go by before they updated their blog. But I think now, three weeks after my last post, I'm beginning to understand. My beloved little blog is badly neglected because there isn't enough time to do everything that needs to be done, and writing a blog post when I've got a dirty house and bored kids just doesn't seem as justifiable as it once was.

Also, I have a one-year-old. And he doesn't stop moving unless he's getting into trouble. I forgot that fact about one-year-olds, but its all coming back to me now.


June is the best month of the year, but also one of the busiest. Three out of the five of us (Ryan, Jeremy and I) have birthdays in June, as well as my dad. They are all about a week apart which means we have birthday cake weekly. What's not to love about that? We were camping with Jeremy's family this year on my birthday, and at this stage of life that's about as good as it gets for my birthday. I didn't have to make breakfast, lunch or dinner, I didn't have to bathe any kids (though I probably should have), they played with cousins all day, Jeremy put them to bed, and I got to go out on the Rhino twice.

I turned 29 this year, and I've been thinking about how my life has changed while in my twenties. I think for most people that's the decade of their life that changes them the most, and for me it's definitely true. I got married two weeks after I turned 20, so it's hard to determine what changes and growth were a result of simply getting older, and which were a result of being in such an important relationship at such a young age. But while in my twenties I gained a huge amount of confidence. I still have such a long way to go to become truly confident in myself and my abilities, but compared to my teenage self I am now a confident person. I've also learned more about what my talents are. I used to think I didn't have any talents, especially because as a youth it seems that everyone focuses on "measurable" talents. Good grades, scoring well on tests, being the star of a sports team, being a performer, those are all measurable talents. Being a friend to the lonely, having an innate sense of right and wrong, being a good listener, dispensing good advice, those are all immeasurable talents and I've found most of my talents lie in that realm. What I didn't know when I was young was that those things are talents and that they are just as important, if not more than, the types most people focus on. I've also learned that some talents emerge later in life. Just in the past six months I've started to develop a talent I never thought I had. It makes me excited to think about what my life will look like in another ten years.

The thing that I find the most amazing is that I've learned all of these things and developed this confidence in myself all while being a stay at home mom. I haven't had a corporate world instill any of this in me, I've developed it all while doing a job that most people overlook as not being important. Yet, it's the hardest job of all and forces a lot of growth and introspection, and I consider myself extremely blessed that I get to be home with my kids, all day, every day. (Even on the REALLY bad days!)

Now onto those kids that keep me employed:

It has been nice to have Alexis home. I was a little worried she would get bored and that she would make a lot of messes. So far she hasn't gotten bored, but she has made a lot of messes. I think that will always be life with Alexis. She thinks big and her excitement and ideas cannot be contained. There's a direct correlation between how excited she is over her latest idea and how much junk is all over the floor of her bedroom; she simply cannot stop to bother with things like cleaning up. She is also a big help with Ryan. The other day she fed him all of his oatmeal without me even asking her too. I'm starting to really see the advantage of having a daughter first!


Tyler seems to be struggling a bit with being the middle child and with getting older and wanting some independence. He's had his share of troubles with Alexis, but she is also his best friend. When they fight, they FIGHT. When they play well together it's heaven on earth. He knows how to spell "Tyler", "Alexis" and "Dad" all by himself. Yesterday he wrote "DAD" on a piece of paper, then drew a circle around it and a line through it and then gave it to Jeremy. He was trying to be funny, and he succeeded. Then to really get at Jeremy he took another piece of paper, wrote "Mom" on it with a heart around it and gave it to me. And he hasn't stopped laughing about it since. He's inherited a funny trait from me: whenever he's concentrating he has to stick his tongue out. And since I'm trying to teach him how to swim now, he swallows a lot of pool water with that tongue always out. He has also decided to start complaining about having to turn lights off after he leaves a room. For some reason he REALLY hates that he has to turn a light off and will whine about it to no end. If it were just at night that we had this issue I would understand that he might be a little afraid of the dark, but he only complains about it during the middle of the day. Of all the weird things to get upset about! I wonder how long until he figures out that he should just stop turning the light on in the first place?

And that leaves Ryan. He once upon a time was such a happy baby who rarely cried, but he now lets his opinions be known. Unfortunately because he has yet to say any words, I don't know what those opinions are. He is just generally whiny for the last half of the day. Is he hungry? Thirsty? Tired? Bored? Uncomfortable? Sick of hefting around all of that weight? No one knows! Despite the whining (which really isn't terrible) he is still adored by everybody that sees him. He is a mama's boy, though he likes to tease me by always giving Jeremy a kiss when he asks for one, but rarely giving me one. He's thinned out some but is still very solid, has the worlds fattest feet (I've only found one pair of shoes that will kind of fit him), and has some very cute curls crowning his head. He loves to be outside any chance he gets and has recently discovered the joy of throwing rocks. He has also learned how to turn himself in a circle and will do that until he's dizzy. Then he gets mad because he's too dizzy to walk straight and starts crying. While he's crying he tries to walk to me so I'll pick him up, but usually ends up somewhere completely different because he can't tell where he's going. It's very funny to me, but not ever to him.
Now, I must go. I hope my next post won't be a year from now, beginning with: "I used to never understand how someone could go a whole year without posting on their blog..."


*All pictures are from our recent family reunion with Jeremy's family at Yuba Lake. It was so much fun and we are so blessed to be part of such an incredible family.

annual "first swim of the season" post

Last Wednesday, when Jeremy got home from work, I took Alexis and Tyler over to the pool so they could swim. They had been begging for a week, but the weather hadn't really been cooperating, so I made them wait. We unfortunately haven't been back since because I want to wait until it gets a little warmer before I take Ryan in. And because I'm too afraid to try on my swimsuit.

We've been feeling the tight quarters of our little townhome lately. We love it here, but when we moved here 6 years ago we had one one-year-old and plans to leave again in two or three years. Plans change and families grow, but lately we've started thinking about moving on. (Thinking about it, that's as far as we've gotten!) And in the winter when there are toys everywhere and not enough rooms and a garage too full of stuff to park in, I really feel cramped here. But then I take my kids to the pool and I start to think that we can stick around longer. There is nothing in the world that is more fun to Alexis than swimming. You can see it written all over her face, as she comes up out of the water to get a breath, her face is plastered with a smile. I think she's even smiling underwater, she just can't help it.


So we are lucky 3 months out of the year to have that pool right next to us, calling our names all summer long. If we move we'll have to swim with the masses at a community pool...


This summer I plan to teach Tyler how to swim without that frog floatie. When he went on Wednesday he said that the floatie wasn't holding him up very well, so I guess he's finally gotten too big for it. I'm not sure how much time I'll be able to devote to it since I'll have Ryan to watch out for as well, so lets hope he's a fast learner!

uno

Today my baby turned one.


He got a big green ball, balloons, and lots of things to prepare him for the swim season. What more could a little guy ask for?


Oh yeah. Cake.

For the boy whose favorite things are crayons (he likes to be sneaky and get them when I'm not looking and then suck on them), I felt a crayon cake would be appropriate.


I've decided I'm glad that cake decorating is not my creative outlet of choice. I have no patience for it! And it's hard for me to spend so much time on something you are just going to eat anyway (this is also my problem with cooking).

My first two kids needed help figuring out what to do with cake when they turned one, but Ryan needed no such assistance. First he tried to pick it all up...

Then he decided to lick a little off his finger...

And before long he had it all over his face, hands and tummy.

He would have kept going and going but I was afraid he would get a tummy ache so I finally took it away...

I've thought all day about what I wanted to write about Ryan. I've had millions of thoughts swim through my mind, but they never come out sounding quite the way I want them to, and I'm too tired to work at it. So I'll say this, whether or not it sounds right.

If I have any more children they will owe their existence to Ryan. He has restored my faith in babykind and in my abilities to mother a baby.

Before I had him I wasn't sure I could handle another baby; babies are hard for me because I have so little control. But the combination of his easy going nature, and me maturing as a mother over the past few years, has caused me to love having him as a baby. I've lamented often lately that I don't want him to grow up--I've done it enough that the kids have turned it into a game. They'll ask me, "Mom, do you want Ryan to turn one?" And I'll pretend to cry and say "NO!! NO!!" Then they'll say, "Mom, do you want Ryan to turn two??" And I'll pretend to cry and say, "NO!! NO!!", and on it goes until I have no more pretend tears.

I try to not have many regrets in life, but one thing I do regret is that I was not the same mom to the baby versions of Alexis and Tyler that I have been to Ryan. I'm so much more relaxed and appreciative of all the cute little things he does than I was with them. They were a little more difficult as babies, but most of it is me. I suppose I do have them, and the years I have under my belt mothering them, to thank for my ability to enjoy the stage Ryan is in.

In fact, just last night I watched him climb on and off of a rocking horse over and over, and I sat thinking about how it was the best part of my day. There's something so miraculous and beautiful about watching a strong, healthy baby learn and test and discover new things about their environment. Fortunately, I now recognize that.

And so, though I'd stop him from growing right now if I could, I am endlessly grateful that I get to witness the inevitable:

A child that starts as a tiny baby in my arms,


then grows into a toddler,


a young boy, and eventually a man.

Aren't I the luckiest?? (times three!)




**For the truest of Ryan's fans, here's the video I took yesterday of him playing on the rocking horse. I'm sure it's nothing exciting to most of you, but I loved every second of it. Also, I thought my regular voice sounded annoying on video, but my baby talk voice is WAY worse!

recovery

On Mother's Day I decided I wanted to take a picture with all my children. I generally HATE having my picture taken, and I usually hate the result. But I've started to realize that other people do not hate the results. In fact, someday my kids might like to have a picture of them with their mom. So I sucked it up and piled us all on the bean bag chair, or "Rocky Mountain" as it's known in our house, and had Jeremy snap a few. Only two of them really turned out, so I'm sharing them with you. Even though it pains me to do so.

I'm not sure which one turned out the best. I've been meaning to post these all week but last week is a week I'd like to forget. It was LOOOONG and short all at once. It was packed full of everything but sleep. I spent more time away from my home and my kids than I normally care to (unless I'm on vacation, which I wasn't), and I had to move outside of my comfort zone a bit. And to top it off I had a cough and scratchy throat and sounded like a man all week. Listen to me, I'm such a whiner. Anyway, it was a busy and bizarre week and I'm glad it's over.

The one highlight of the week, however, was that for one whole day it warmed up enough that I could put shorts on Ryan! If you have ever seen his fat legs you know why this was the highlight of the week.
Today it's back to sweatshirt weather (on May 16th? That seems wrong...), but I look forward to warm days where I can gaze upon his fat rolls to my hearts content because they won't be hidden by clothing. And can you even imagine when I put him in a swimsuit??? My heart may stop! I told Jeremy yesterday that if we have any more babies they better be fat or I might not love them because once you've had fat (babies) you can never go back. (Which is ridiculous of course, I love all my babies.)

In other news (really, does any of this qualify as "news"?), yesterday Jeremy cut our grass for the first time this season and he cut a T into it. I remember when I was a teenager my brother, Peter, was taking his turn cutting the grass and spent quite a bit of time cutting his first name into it. Someday Jeremy and I aspire to having a lawn big enough for more than one letter, but for now I guess this will do.


I'm sure I have plenty of other things to write about, but this is all I can eek out now. Things to do, groceries to buy, kids to love on, bathrooms to clean, dishes to do (always), but I'm happy to be back to all of it. Except the dishes--some things will never change.