give life

June 26, 2012 5:30 AM, Pre-op

Three weeks ago I had surgery.  While I was in one room being operated on, my friend Crystal was in the room next to me, also being operated on.  During the surgery the surgeons removed my left kidney, flushed it out, and placed it in Crystal's lower abdomen.

I've tried many different ways to approach this on my blog for the last few weeks, but it's been difficult.  It seems I can easily put into words the silly stories of my kids, but when it comes to something a little more serious, like an experience that means a lot to me, it's harder to articulate.  So whatever comes out now is as good as its going to get.

Crystal is my neighbor.  She's just a year younger than me and, despite what you might guess because of her need for a kidney, doesn't actually have kidney disease or kidney failure.  Instead she was born with only one kidney, one that worked great for her up until the doctors removed it and tried to put it back in.  About a year ago a renal aneurism was discovered on her only kidney, and the decision was made to try an auto transplant (this means they removed her kidney, repaired the aneurism, and then tried to place her own kidney back in her body). During the surgery something went wrong and the kidney died.  Fortunately Crystal survived the surgery, but her life was changed from that point on.  You can google what it's like to live without a kidney, or read the archives of her blog to get a bit of an idea, but what you'll find is that living without a kidney can hardly be called living.

I received a range of responses from people when they heard about my decision to be a kidney donor.  Some people called me a saint, some people called me crazy.  While I can understand both responses, I don't think I'm either of those things. I did have two main reasons for choosing to do it, which I would like to share.

First Reason: I don't believe in looking at other people's misfortunes and saying things like, "Glad that didn't happen to me", or "that's their problem, not mine".  Other peoples problems are in fact everybody's problems.  No one can get through this life on their own, and while I don't think I can help everyone in the world, I do think I should help where I can, even if it seems like kind of a big deal, or a bit scary, or maybe even a little stupid.  I've had my own share of problems in my life, and each time I've dealt with one, kind people helped me even though they didn't have to, which made all the difference in the world to me.  Crystal had lots of other people in her life who also thought this way and got tested to be a donor, but were ineligible for one reason or another.  I bet if you ask her, she'll tell you that the fact that people were being tested (even if they eventually couldn't donate) made a positive difference in her attitude and her ability to deal with her "problem".

Second Reason: As I was thinking about getting tested for Crystal, one day at church (we are in the same LDS ward) I happened to be sitting near her while she was looking especially sick and defeated, and the Lord prompted me with a simple statement, "You can help her."  That statement was all it took for me to begin the testing process.

Post-op, slightly drugged, facetime chat

I will be forever grateful that I listened to that prompting because being a kidney donor has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. Yes there were times I doubted my decision, there were times when it was a little scary, and times when I thought what I was doing was crazy, but it has all been worth it.  Crystal has her life back, Avery and June have their mother back, and Chris has his wife back.  That all happened because the Lord put me in Crystal's path and told me to help her.  I suppose it would be possible to get a big head about what I did, but instead it has been a completely humbling experience for me.  I got to be part of a true miracle!  And during the process I got to find out just how many people care about me (which is a lot, for whatever reason).

Walking the hospital halls

I had been warned that my recovery would be rough and that I might be down and out for several weeks, but amazingly enough, my recovery has been pretty smooth.  I've had rough moments, like a bout with debilitating nauseousness a few weeks ago, and some crazy restless legs that make sleep difficult, but otherwise I have no complaints.  The only thing I can possibly attribute this quick recovery to is prayer.  Crystal and I have had more people than we realize praying for us, and we can feel it. After this, I will never underestimate the power of prayer.  So thank you to everyone who has prayed for us.  Thank you to everyone who has cared for our families, who has brought us dinner, who has visited us, and who has supported us.  It means the world to both of us, really.

And thank you especially to the hospital for the package (my last one!) of Lorna Doone's that I ate while typing this up--they helped me get through.


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A few other things:

*Jeremy was incredibly supportive of this from day 1, and is even still today, despite the fact that he's the only one that does any work around here lately.  (Wait, that's not that different from normal...) This would not have happened without him.

*Despite what some people think, you can in fact live with only one kidney.  My remaining kidney immediately picked up where the other kidney left off, with no difference felt by me.

*The surgeon told me I have amazing kidneys with record high function.  How's that for a hidden talent?

*A cool article in the Deseret News several weeks ago about a charity fundraiser put on for Crystal.

*A link to join Team Hadlock for the Kidney Walk in September.  I'll be there!

*I don't generally talk much about my beliefs on my blog, but in this case my beliefs were so fundamentally core to my decision to donate a kidney that I couldn't help but share.  If you want to learn more about what Latter-Day Saints believe, go here.

*If you aren't registered to be an organ donor, please reconsider.  If you live in Utah and would like to register, go here.

*Not enough links yet?  Well, if you aren't yet a fan of Lorna Doone's maybe this will change your mind.

*And for those of you curious, here's a picture of my old/Crystal's new kidney (taken with a disposable camera, so pretty poor quality).

Newport

At the end of April I was lucky enough to fly to Southern California for a reunion with friends from college.  The last one was three years ago, I wrote about it here.  Instead of 11 of us this year, we only had 7.  We missed all those that weren't able to come, and it definitely had some different dynamics than the last time, but it was still so much fun and such a good experience.

I didn't even take a camera, so the only pictures I have are the ones the others have shared (hint hint), but I'll remember the trip even without pictures.  We stayed at a Marriott Resort in Newport Beach, went to the pool, swam in the ocean, did some sightseeing, and talked a lot.  The thing that is so great is that the subjects we cover as we talk vary so greatly because we talk about everything with each other.  That is especially remarkable because I hadn't seen half of them in several years, but we are all able to pick right up and carry on as if the years in between had never happened.  I count my association with each one of these women as one of the greatest blessings in my life, and I'm not saying that lightly.  And I'm extra grateful for a husband and a mother who are so willing to take over for me when I do things like this!  So until April 2015 (when we'll all be {almost}33!)...

Some YouTube goodness

I've mentioned my brother-in-law (Eric Thayne) before and shared some of the things he's up to, and here he is again!  In this video, he and another guy (Caleb Blood) are performing a mashup of two songs, Payphone and Call Me Maybe.



You should subscribe to his YouTube channel so you can see all the fun videos he's putting up without me having to introduce them to you.  Here's another one that I love, this time he's with my sister-in-law (his sister, Ashley).

spring break 2012

A month ago, during Spring Break, Jeremy and I took the kids down to Moab.  Since we don't all fit in the Rhino anymore we weren't going to take it.  Then we realized it's ridiculous to own an off-road machine and NOT take it with us.  So on the first full day there we rented a 4-wheeler and spent the day out on the trails.  The kids were absolutely wonderful!  We were out ALL day and they never complained or got tired of it.  I think it helped that one of the older two was either sitting in the front seat of the rhino or riding on the 4-wheeler with one of us.  Moab really has the greatest trails, and after this trip we've decided we need to make it an annual thing.

We camped right in the middle of town.  It was a campground unlike any we've ever stayed in, because everyone was crammed in like sardines, but it was nice nonetheless and it had a playground just down the row that the kids could play on while Jeremy and I were busy setting up or taking down camp.

It's not very often that we go on a trip with just our little family, but we have so much fun every time we do.  The kids always seem to get along better, Jeremy and I are in better moods and we have tons of fun together.  Especially on trips like this because being outdoors is what my kids love the most.  And when we go camping Alexis and Tyler are actually excited to go to bed because they both have an unnaturally strong love for their sleeping bags.  

While there we also went to Arches, though with little legs accompanying us we didn't see too much.

We hiked up a HUGE sand dune (Tyler hiked up it 3 times!)

We played in the sand, climbed rocks, jumped off rocks, and enjoyed beautiful scenery and great views.

And then, when we got back, Jeremy took apart one of our upstairs toilet because it was clogged.  Remember this?  Yeah, this time it wasn't a pencil.  It was a small toy cup.  2 toilets down, 1 to go Ryan.

peace and quiet does exist...

This morning Ryan wouldn't come downstairs to eat breakfast. He was content to sit upstairs by the bookshelf and look at books. By himself. And I was more than happy to let him because Ryan never cares for entertaining himself. So, the older kids and I ate a quiet breakfast and I was able to clean up the mess by the time he came downstairs. Then I put him in his seat and gave him his breakfast, and I continued to load the dishwasher. After a minute or so I realized the house was quiet, and I was in awe. Ryan was eating peacefully, without screaming my name over and over, and Alexis and Tyler were sitting next to each other in the over sized chair, reading and writing, and not at all fighting. I felt prompted to take a picture, so that I could remember the peaceful moments. Or maybe so I can prove to others that they do in fact exist. (I think there are some who are around us often that may be skeptical of that.)

But as soon as the camera was back in its case, the peace ended. Alexis' ride for school came, Tyler moved onto some other (loud) activity, and Ryan started yelling my name and then dropped his cup on the ground, the remainder of his smoothie splattering all over the floor and door behind him (though thankfully not into that clean basket of laundry on the left).

And I'm glad that I took that moment to recognize and appreciate the peace, because it is the thing I'm thankful for most these days. Not the peace that comes when I'm alone and far from my children (though I do appreciate those times too), but the peace that comes when we are all together, quietly enjoying being nearby, but lost in our own quiet thoughts. April has been a busy month. Our lives have turned into busy lives, and so we need these peaceful moments to renew our spirits.

Now, if I can survive the month of April, I have more to share. Namely, a recent trip to Moab, just the five of us.

Don't let the picture fool you. It was a lot of fun.

the tale of the clogged toilet

Our downstairs toilet hasn't been working right for about a month. (This is the only toilet on the main level of the house so you can imagine how annoyed I've been.) The toilet would flush but sometimes the water would go down really slowly while other times it would go down at a normal rate, but always after it had flushed the toilet paper would float back up.


Of course we tried plunging, which didn't seem to do much, but finally one day I realized that there was probably a toy stuck in the toilet that we couldn't see, most likely put there by the smallest child. Jeremy tried putting his hand down there but it was too big so he couldn't tell. Naturally, we turned to our older two and said, "Who's willing to stick their hand in the toilet for us?" Surprisingly, neither of them volunteered. We tried and tried, but neither of them would budge. Then I remembered that Tyler was saving up his money for something and he was shy $2 of his goal, so I said, "Tyler, if you stick your hand down that toilet I'll give you $2." He thought about that and worked it out in his mind and whimpered a bit about it but finally got the courage up to stick his hand in the toilet.

And was there a toy in there?

No.

I was beginning to think that I would be out the cost of a plumber AND the $2 we paid Tyler to put his hand in the toilet. Jeremy tried a snake, more plunging, and anything else he could think of.

Then today, Saturday, Jeremy's day to get things done, I came downstairs to find him working on the toilet. After a little research and a few other failed attempts, he tore the whole toilet apart in attempt to fix it. A bit later he called me, "Lisa, come see this." When I enter the bathroom Jeremy hands me a flashlight and motions towards the base of the toilet, which is now laying upside down on the bathroom floor. I peeked through the S-curve and there, lodged in the toilet is a Lightning McQueen pencil. A full size pencil too, not some sharpened down stub.

So we called in Ryan and said, "Ryan, did you put this pencil down in the toilet?"
He looked at it with recognition in his eyes and said, "yeah".

So we said again, "You put this pencil in here?"
This time he was smart enough to shake his head in denial, but no one believes him.


I'm not sure how a straight pencil managed to go down a curved pipe, but it explains why the toilet paper was always floating back up when the water would go down. So if you ever have a similar toilet situation and a small child in your home, check for a pencil first.

8 (or 9) things

The other night I sat down to blog but my heart just wasn't in it. My heart (and time) is stretched in a lot of different directions these days and it doesn't seem to have much leftover for this old blog of mine. So then my would-be post turned into a tirade about how it seems like I don't have enough time to do everything that I need to, but I never posted it because I ran out of time to finish it. See how life is these days?

However, it's good I didn't post it because I'm over that now. But I am going to try a little reverse psychology on myself. And this is it:

Once upon a time I blogged often. Once upon a time my blog was semi-entertaining. Once upon a time I wrote about things my kids did that I want to remember. But life changes, and that time has passed. So I'm releasing myself from feeling guilty if I haven't blogged in awhile. If I don't get around to it, oh well.

OH WELL!

(My hope is that now that I've made this less of an obligation, I'll want to blog more...)

Now onto important business.

1. It's been about 5 weeks since I closed my facebook account and I don't miss it. I do miss keeping up on some people's news, but most of it I don't actually miss. And I have been spending less time on the computer, which was part of the reason I did it.

2. Ryan is obsessed with trucks. Monster trucks, more specifically. And I'm not using the word "obsessed" lightly. It's the first word out of his mouth in the morning, the last word out of his mouth before sleep at night, and it's 90% of the words said in between too. And he's generally carrying one in his hand. If I ever want him to sit still all I have to do is find videos of monster trucks on YouTube.

3. What did parents do before YouTube?

4. Tyler may make me pull all my hair out before he starts kindergarten in the fall, which would be quite the feat because I have a lot of hair on my head. I love the kid (really really really love him), but he's going through a "phase". It's a tough phase. But there are a few times when I still see the sweet Tyler come out and that's how I know we'll get through this rough patch. Plus sometimes in the afternoons I lay down on his bed with him to try and get him to sleep (but I'm the only one that ever actually falls asleep), and it's the highlight of my day. A few weeks ago Jeremy and I were able to take Tyler and Jeremy's brother Trent to a BYU basketball game. Tyler had fun for the first 30 minutes, then he played games on my phone because he was bored.

5. What did parents do before Angry Birds on their cell phones?

6. Alexis has spent the last few weeks building a leprechaun trap with some of the neighbors, and it's massive. They took several old boxes and taped them all together and have been decorating it, making furniture for it, etc. I think she'll be pretty disappointed when she doesn't catch a leprechaun, but I guess it'll build character. Although rumor has it that his hat might fall off and get left in the trap, so hopefully that'll be enough for her.

7. Jeremy's cousin is working on a really cool Eagle Scout project. He's set up a benefit concert to raise funds for the U of U Burn Center, and Jon Schmidt is performing. So if you are interested in attending, check it out here.

8. Also, I've been "off" sugar for about a week and a half, and I'm trying to go for another 3 weeks, or longer. I've always wondered what people meant when they said they were going off sugar, and I'm still figuring it out for me, but basically I don't eat desserts and candy that are made with processed white sugar, or anything containing high fructose corn syrup. The third day was the hardest, and tonight was a little challenging because someone brought us sugar cookies (which are my favorite), but I've managed to resist. And I have noticed a difference in my energy levels, which is part of the reason I'm doing it.

February already?

I'm sure you're tired of hearing about the crazy, dry and relatively warm winter Utah has had. So I won't expound on that, other than to say that it snowed one afternoon/evening, so the kids begged and begged to go play in the snow. We bundled up after dinner and played in a measly amount of snow in our measly backyard.

Alexis spent the time building miniature snowmen.

Tyler wore pink gloves and threw a million snowballs.

Ryan refused to wear gloves and ate half of the snow in the backyard.

Jeremy has kept busy with a few building projects lately. He made a new TV stand for our living room. I love it because it holds a lot more stuff (for Ryan to get into) and gets the TV up higher and a little more out of the line of fire (of balls, toy cars, and anything else Ryan throws).

After he finished that he and Alexis built a bed for her precious doll, Josephina. Then I helped her make a mattress and a blanket for the bed as well.

This week for a homework assignment Alexis had to write a journal entry about what she loves about her parents and what they do for her. She wrote for a minute about Jeremy and then said, "Um...dad? I can't think of what mom does for me." You can believe I was quick to spout off a long list of what exactly I do for her. But perhaps I overwhelmed her because she summed it up by saying, "My mom takes care of me", and then later threw in a sentence about me being pretty, probably to soothe my injured pride.

Last week I deactivated my Facebook account in an effort to spend less time engaged in mindless entertainment. Hopefully that means I'll get around to posting her more often. Either that or I'll gain a Pintrest addiction.

Still Water Lake Estates

My father-in-law is an avid waterskiier and, along with some of his brothers and sisters, is currently in the process of developing something really cool. They are building a gated water sports community in the city of Syracuse, Utah. A community of this kind is rare in Utah, so if you know someone who, like my father-in-law, has always dreamed of being a part of this kind of community, direct them to this site:

http://www.stillwaterlakes.info/

Christmas and beyond...

Yogurt and toast for breakfast...

Tyler is a trinket carrying kid--you know the type. The kid that always has at least one, usually a handful, of small toys/treasures/trinkets that go with them everywhere. Tyler is that kid, and always has been, though what he chooses to carry around changes everyday. The other day Jeremy and I came across a video I took years ago of Tyler on the day he was getting his front tooth extracted. In the video he's lying on his back in the dentist chair, an oxygen mask covering his face, eyes towards the ceiling where a movie is playing, with his arms dangling over the side. Then the camera follows one of those arms down to a small hand that's tightly clutching a little toy 4-wheeler.

This is the kind of trivia about Tyler that I'm afraid I'll forget someday, so yesterday morning I took a picture of the things he had brought down to breakfast with him. After breakfast he was coloring, so he set his trinkets amidst his coloring supplies.


A small toy penguin.
A bottle of Spider-man hand sanitizer.
A toy car from a box of Cheerios.
A baseball pen that Alexis gave him for Christmas.

You know, the essentials.

In his stocking this year Tyler got a watch, which he has worn very responsibly every day since. He constantly informs me of the time, though he's never been taught how to read a watch so his pronouncements aren't usually correct. But in my opinion, that makes it even better. He's very into numbers lately and has also taught himself the concept of adding and adds things all the time.

So, Christmas. Christmas with kids is really the greatest thing ever. Christmas makes me want to have a million kids so I never have to experience a Christmas morning without children ever again. Fortunately, reality always hits the day after Christmas.

And this year I especially loved Christmas because it was on a Sunday, and after opening presents and eating omelets we headed to church where we got to talk and sing about our Savior. That was my favorite part of the day.

As I was going through my pictures to see which ones I wanted to share, I was overcome with an intense amount of pride in my children. It's simply spectacular to watch your children grow up and become their own person. I know mine are young still, but everyday I get glimpses into the person they are shaping into, and it's really incredible. I feel so blessed to be a parent, but even more blessed to be, specifically,
Alexis' parent,
and Tyler's parent,
and Ryan's parent.

But the real blessing, the best present that comes from the Christmas season, is that I get to be with them forever. Families ARE forever. That's why I celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, because He gave me that chance. He gives me that chance every single day.

Here are those wonderful children with some of their (more tangible) Christmas loot:

Alexis got a hair feather and lots of clothes/accessories for her doll.
And lots of clothes for herself, and books for her brain.

Tyler got a building kit with a real hammer, nails, wood and glue.
The perfect gift for this kid, who wants to be just like his dad.

Ryan got more cars than he can count.

(especially if you include all of Tyler's new trucks that he steals everyday...)
A fistful of cars is all this kid needs to be content.
(If only that were actually true, I'd get a lot more done around here.)

And Jeremy and I got time to be together, time to be with our children, time to be with my family and with his family, time to enjoy the day. And really, in this stage of our lives, time is one thing we often only dream of having, which makes it a nice gift to be given.